posted by Sodapop on Sep 3
I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed with the move. So I did some journaling and praying. I’ve prayed for the courage, strength and convictions to get this done. I’ve prayed for endurance during this stressful time.
I have journaled how I’m feeling. Have I mentioned I’m no longer on anxiety meds? This bugs the crap outta me. I know the Ativan would make me feel so much more calm. I hate to turn to the chemical way out, but I’m looking for whatever fucking works at this point.
I’ve never felt so overwhelmed in my life. I feel at a loss of what to do first. I started repacking some odd shaped boxes and going through some stuff. It started getting so stressful decided what to throw away and what to take with me, I’ve started just repacking stuff and not throwing anything away unless it’s obvious I don’t use or won’t need it.
During one of my repacking moments, I opened a box and guess what was on top of this box? An old prescription bottle of Ativan. Holy shit!!! I checked the expiration date and BAM! they are NOT expired. I immediately took one. The stress seemed to seep out of me within about 30 minutes. I have not felt this good in a very long time. Mentally.
Is it a cop out by taking the meds? Maybe in some people’s opinions. But not in mine.