posted by Sodapop on May 25
It’s amazing to me how some songs can just stop me in my tracks and make me take a trip down memory lane. There are several songs that make me think of Todd:
- Who Knew - Pink
- You Raise me Up - Josh Groban
- Who You’d Be Today - Kenny Chesney
- Time After Time - Quietdrive
I have NO idea why Quietdrive’s version of Time After Time makes me think of Todd. But it does.
There are several songs that make me think of The Marine. Amazing how such a short relationship would impact me the way this one has. It lasted from January 06 to March 06.
- You Leave Me Weak - Toby Keith
- Must Be Doin’ Somethin’ Right - Billy Currington
- Fall Into Me - Emerson Drive
- I Should Be Sleeping - Emerson Drive
- Crash Here Tonight - Toby Keith
Some of the memories of The Marine are very good and I smile at the thought of them. And some of the other memories are not so good and it makes me sad. The timing was off. He played me? We were both too anxious for something to happen? Who knows what happened with this one, but I’m a better person for it and I think of him fondly, when I do think of him.
I’ve learned that I will either get better or I will get bitter. It’s up to me. I don’t want to be some old maid feeling nothing but bitterness because “this guy” broke my heart or “this relationship” didn’t go the way it should have. I want to take each relationship and each experience and grow and learn. I want to become a better person for having gone through that experience/relationship.
I want to be a better person for knowing each and every person I get involved with. I want to get better. I don’t want to get bitter.
GA teaches me to take each experience and find the lesson. What’s the lesson? What was I supposed to learn or gain from this person/experience? If I can view them that way, I know I won’t get bitter. Which is a blessing because we all have our own responsibility in each relationship we get into. While I would love to blame it all on the guys, I know that I had some part in the way things went.
Back in April of 2007, I hooked up with a guy from work. We had been working together for awhile and we really “clicked.” We went to a co-workers party and ended up leaving together. I ignored every single red flag that there was. I didn’t care. I was all about the instant gratification that would come with it. For two weeks, we talked several times a day on the phone and at work. We really “clicked.” We have a lot in common and the level of respect and compassion for each other was outstanding. I really liked him.
And then he told me he was “happily” married. WOW! So I sat down, feeling angry and sad. And then I started looking back at the situation and realized. DAMNIT! If I had NOT ignored “this” red flag; or “that” red flag, I would have known. I could have saved myself the trouble. I could have, I should have, I would have. Blah blah blah.
It was an experience I will never forget. While we agreed to remain friends, it was a little strained (as I’m sure you can imagine) after that. We both still felt the connection. We fought the attraction as much as possible. I separated myself from the situation in many ways. I stopped going to the substation to have coffee with him in the mornings. I stopped texting or calling throughout the day.
And then I moved cross country. I still think about him. A lot. I think about him when there is NOT a song on. I think about everything involving him and I realize I’m not bitter. I learned something from that experience. I have nothing but fond memories of this guy. Was I upset that he was married? not really. I was more upset that I let myself into that situation without finding out first. I was also upset with him for taking 2 weeks to tell me this information. Could have told me sooner, fucker!
I have no point to this post. I’m just expressing how I’m thinking and feeling today. Now, I must go get ready for church.
I wonder where I could find some renaissance costumes?
Until next time….
but as long as she gets here safely!!! 
