Archive for March, 2008
posted by Sodapop on Mar 30
I’ve been going to church regularly for a couple of months now. The only time I’ve missed it since the beginning of February, is when I’ve been out of town in Indy.
During the course of going to church, I’ve learned lots of new Christian songs to fill up my iPod with and listen too when I feel the need.
Today, the service was about doing the right thing when no one is looking. It’s the first of a four week series at church focusing on the book of Daniel from the Old Testament. It was an awesome service today, BTW.
Some of the songs they do in church make me feel a little weird, cause you know I’m not used to this yet. I’m not used to singing and worshipping. I’m getting there though and I don’t feel like such dork singing along anymore either.
Today, one of the Worship Leaders did a song called Undo by Rush of Fools. It is the BEST song I have ever heard in my life. Not just Christian song. Not just rock song. But THE BEST SONG I have ever heard in my life. It’s got an alternative rock sound to it and it’s just phenomenal. I actually started crying this morning when Dan sang this song.
Rush of Fools - Undo
I’ve been here before, now here I am again
Standing at the door, praying You’ll let me back in
To label me a prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve becomeI focused on the score, but I could never win
Trying to ignore, a life of hiding my sin
To label me a hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface of who I’ve been known to be[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve becomeMake every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You[Chorus]
Turn me around pick me up
Undo what I’ve become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, need Your help
I can’t do this myself
You’re the only one who can undo
What I’ve become
While most of the people in the church were singing with their voices raised, I was sobbing through the lyrics, thinking of the GA program and God and how each has impacted me in some way and have helped me back to this place I’m in today.
I can’t do this myself. I can’t undo what I’ve become, but while working the 12 steps of recovery, I found out that He can undo what I’ve become and that, is very powerful for me.
Until next time….
posted by Sodapop on Mar 30
I had a dream last that I just shared about on The Soda Stand. I’ve since been looking it up over on MSN’s free Dream Dictionary online. Just to see if I can find a meaning to it….
I was dreaming of someone *cough* that I like and then someone from my past entered the dream and creeped me out. I then was on a beach with the person I liked and a different person from my past walked up to us with my Josie in his arms. She was dying. I was then in the vet’s office. The vet was Neil Patrick Harris (WTF?) and he took care of my girl and fixed her. And then I was back on the beach with the person I liked and we were having sex. It was a clumsy first attempt and it was funny as hell. We were both laughing. And then this person from my past walked up to us again, yeah, in the middle of us having sex and started yelling/saying something at me. I started crying in the dream and walked away with the person I liked.
I’ve highlighted the symbols (or what *I* think are the symbols in this dream.)
They are not in any kind of order:
the beach ~ A beach is where the earth meets the water; hence, dreaming of standing on a beach looking out at the water implies intense spiritual experiences ahead.
sex with the person I like ~ If the encounter is with someone whose feelings the dreamer isn’t sure of, it could mean the same, but it could also be nothing more than a wish-fulfillment dream. Look to other symbols in the dream in order to discern its true meaning.
Ex telling me something I could not hear ~ If someone is speaking to you and yet you don’t hear what he or she is saying, then there is some sort of situation in your life that you don’t understand, and which you need to understand. Again, for the actual message, look to other symbols in the dream.
my dog Josie ~ DOMESTIC ANIMALS: Comfort, familiarity, security, gentleness.
Josie being near death ~ The need for change in some department of the dreamer’s life. As to what: Watch for other symbols in the dream.
Yeah, I don’t get it either.
Until next time….
posted by Sodapop on Mar 29
- finally home…eating some crackers and salmon #
- @jlynn yup
Every Friday and Monday night. # - crap I hit enter during a quiz on Crackbook and I had only answer two questions. It’s calculating the results. Thats stupid #
- @munkymunch that sucks
hope it clears up for ya! # - @monique_wwwl I’m sleepy too. I may go to bed quite early tonight and I’m so OK with that LOL #
- GAH!!! one of my dogs just farted. Holy shit. *holding breath* #
- http://twitpic.com/4n8 <- I still love this picture, almost 2 years later! p.s. testing twitpic. #
- I’m giving in to the tiredness. g’nite #
- I feel like ass. I think I’ll forego my plans of driving all around today. #
- @tensesgeek mornin #
- @frankiek morning #
- @tensesgeek I’m sick for you, so maybe you’ll skip it I got the sniffles and a horrid headache #
- @tensesgeek yeah it does #
- same password as last time. If you don’t have it and you want it, let me know #
- hmmm taking forever for my blawg to load. wassup with that #
- @jlynn I noticed the Flickr badge was taking awhile to load so I think that’s what slowed it down #
- I need to get dressed, go deposit my paycheck and then come home and go pay rent. #
- then fuss at them that my screen door is still fubar’d and get em up here to fix that shit #
- @clusterfook cause they are working in a salon and think they are better than #
- oh my fuck. I just found heaven. Bought some Millstone Vanilla Nut Cream coffee the other day. thought I’d try it today #
- I like it better than my Don Francisco! #
- @monique_wwwl it’s been doing that off and on all morning. I think it’s the Flickr badge #
- I don’t know what to do about it #
- @slobokan nudge nudge nudge #
- @frankiek they always hold a gun to my head. LOL I end up with 2 or 3 boxes of the tagalog things #
- *criez eyz out* mah blawg is broked #
- Las Vegas Athletic Club wants $126 to cancel my membership. Are you fucking kidding me? #
- coloring my hair. Since I cut my h air a few months ago, I thought I’d get away with just one bottle. not so much. #
- someone shoot me. my head has exploded. going to go on my bed and die now. kthxbai #
- @codemonkey I’m testing it for my brother #
- @codemonkey I will pass the message, thanks #
- Mariners/Cubs playing at Cashman Field in Las Vegas. heehee #
- @monique_wwwl mmmm I luff ham #
- it’s 72 degrees in Vegas right now…bright and sunny… #
- @monique_wwwl lol don’t die. have a snack til it’s ready
# - I’m bored. But I feel so shitty I don’t want to do anything. #
- @lucysdilemma yum. that sounds tasty. #
- Warning! I have character defects and I’m not afraid to use them! ROFL I so need that on a shirt #
- @lucysdilemma I did that earlier hope yours comes out betta than mine. Very displeased with it. #
- @jestertunes he is so fricking creepy. *shivers* ugh #
- @lucysdilemma Mine was supposed to be medium auburn. It came out super dark auburn. #
- @lucysdilemma I like golden brown tho and I think it’ll look awesome on you #
- thank goodness my headache is finally gone! wooot! @lucysdilemma
# - @divalici0us thanks me too! #
- @blogography cause Jager helps with that, right? #
- I can’t believe it’s 7:40 already. Yikes. what have I done all day? LOL #
- @Blogography Uh-huh #
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posted by Sodapop on Mar 29
As I was setting up the literature for last night’s meeting, I came across this “Information Packet” that I had never seen before. I picked it up and read it while I waited for other members of GA to arrive.
In this Packet, there is a list of questions to test your survival “fitness” in GA. I thought I would share the questions AND my answers with you here.
If you cannot answer yes to at least seven (7) of these questions, you may not be putting enough into the GA program to assure your survival. It must be remembered we are battling a baffling and insidious illness and must be ever vigilant!
- Do you attend meetings regularly, at least once a week? I attend meetings on Monday nights and Friday nights regularly, as well as one or two more when the mood strikes me.
- Do you continue to identify yourself regularly by sharing your experiences, strength and hope? Yes I do. I share at every meeting I go too and depending on if there are new members or not, I share what this program has given me, my experiences while gambling and my hope for a better future.
- Do you make 12 step calls? Yes I do. I am on the phone with GA members every day, some here in the Ville and some back home in Vegas.
- Do you sponsor members? I currently sponsor one person in Vegas.
- Do you regularly use the telephone list? See my answer to #3.
- Do you share your knowledge and experiences with other members at all times? Yes.
- Do you participate in Pressure Relief Group meetings? I have not done this yet.
- Do you maintain regular personal and social contact with other GA members? Yes I do.
- Do you lend your assistance in planning, attending and supporting GA functions - groups, intergroups, open meetings, banquets, conferences, picnics, etc? Actively involved in the planning of the conference this year, as well as previous committee membership for conferences, intergroups and picnics.
- Do you regularly support the GA group, ISO, regional office, intergroups and other GA functions with your contributions? As much as possible, yes.
- Do you continue to try and maintain the “how,” honesty, open mindedness and willingness? Yes I do.
- Do you try to live life One Day At A Time? Absolutely.
- Do you continue to take personal inventory and when you are wrong, promptly admit it? Yes I do.
- Do you continue to remove your defects of character and shortcomings through working the 12 Steps of Recovery? Yes, daily.
- Place principles before personalities? Since leaving Las Vegas, I have found this much easier to accomplish!
- Do you continue to seek the help of a power greater than yourself in trying to maintain a normal way of thinking and living? Yes, I am constantly in contact with my Higher Power.
- Do you continue to NOT tempt or test yourself by not associating with people who gamble and not going in or near gambling establishments? Yes
- Do you continue to be aware that your gambling compulsion is only “arrested” and not “cured”? Yes I do.
- Do you personally participate in public relations for GA through radio, T.V., newspapers and speaking engagements? I have not done this yet.
- Do you continue to apply the GA principles (12 Steps) in all your affairs and carry the GA message to the compulsive gambler who still suffers? Yes I do.
I am very involved in GA. I’m sure anyone who reads either of my blogs knows this. I sometimes schedule my social life around GA events, especially if they are out of town. I am very close to the program and I strive to remain that way everyday.
Ever since I moved here, I have felt more connected to the program and my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.
Thanks for letting me share.
posted by Sodapop on Mar 29
Do you need any air tools? Found a great online place for that. I have such a horrid headache. I slept pretty good last night. Woke up feeling like ass all sniffly and headachy. I’m thinking once I’m done coloring my hair, I’m going to go take a nap cause I’m beat.
I don’t really have much more than that to say. I have a lot on my mind, but I’m trying to find ways to express it without sounding all cry-babyish and shit, ya know? Although I’ve never been one to hold back how I’m feeling, I do sometimes try to temper how I say it.
I went to the office to pay my rent and let them know the screen door still needed fixing and found out the maintenance guy had gone to the hospital and that’s why he had not been up to fix it yet. Ugh. I felt bad for bad mouthing him.
I dripped hair color stuff on my tank top and my sports bra I’m wearing under it. Guess these two things will be my “hair coloring” clothes from now on. LOL
Until next time…
posted by Sodapop on Mar 28
- I’m home. I’m tired. and I’m fucking hungry #
- @divalici0us thanks good to be here. Now I’m going to bed heehee g’nite ya’ll! #
- I feel like ass. I’m all congested and icky. #
- I really do need to get ready for work. Ugh. #
- got my split keyboard today and it feels SOOOO much better on my hands already. WHEEEE #
- I don’t wanna do this anymore I’m such an ungrateful bitch. #
- this company is a trainwreck….ran out of checks…on payday..owner is on his way to pick some more up #
- if it wasn’t so bloody cold and wet outside, I’d have spring fever today. I just don’t want to be here. #
- @monique_wwwl yeah snow is not fun, unless on vacation somewhere snowy LOL #
- what kind of company makes it’s employees and contractors hunt down their paychecks every week? #
- @munkymunch olla como este? estes? hmmm I can speak it but I can’t spell it ROFLMAO #
- let me rephrase that, I can speak it poquito. Very little. Don’t everyone start talking to me in Spanish thinking I’ll know what’s up #
- @munkymunch bien bien. Uhhh yeah OK. LOL I’m ready to go home 1.5 hours left and I get to do that #
- someone put down their address as being on Penile Rd. Is there really such a thing? I’m crying laughing so hard. #
- @vincenzof ROFLMAO @jlynn yes way. I should take a picture of it or copy it and remove their info…just to prove it LOL #
- oh my GAWD! It’s for real! I’m so going to google map directions this weekend and go take a picture of the street sign #
- @jlynn I copied the card w/the info and then I’ll go take a picture of the street sign this weekend It’s actually out by the cemetery #
- that I’ll be going too, so i can go to both the same day. @munkymunch I’ve said that a lot the last 6 months LOL #
- I just passed my exit for my mtg. They do not make turning around easy around here. Grr #
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posted by Sodapop on Mar 28
Integrity ~ completeness; unimpaired condition; soundness; honesty; sincerity; etc.
I love the fact I have not lied to an employer in many years. I take great pride in the fact that I always do the right thing, whether someone is watching me or not. I’m always worried about getting to work on time (whether I like the job or not.) I’m always worried about doing a good job and making sure it’s getting done properly and the way the employer wants it done.
I respect my employers and I always have. Unless they do not respect me. I then lose some respect and then I notice small things that start building up.
My current workplace is a trainwreck waiting to happen. I am working in a family owned business, working with the whole family and a few of their life long friends. This makes for some serious dysfunction.
I’ve heard my direct supervisor lie more than once to customers. I’ve heard him lie to the owner of the company (his brother in law) and I’ve heard him bullshit his way out of accountability and responsibility. He is the Operations Manager. This means he is in charge of the construction guys who build what they build. He is in charge of scheduling the appointments for the construction on these home improvements.
His right hand man, the finance guy, is very nice. I like him personally, but professionally, he sucks ass. He takes care of the paydays. On Fridays, I turn in my invoice/bill for the previous week hours worked and how much they owe me. I turn it in when I get to the office (which is usually around 9:30 or 9:45). And each time, I have not gotten my paycheck until 4pm or later. I told him today that this has to change because I sometimes like to stop at the bank on my lunch hour and deposit it.
I followed him around quite a bit today, asking him for paycheck. In the morning, he let me know they had run out of checks, so the owner had to go pick them up. So I waited til after lunch and I asked him again. He said it was in the system, just not printed yet. I hunted him down at 4:30 and he finally had it.
I find several of the things they do unprofessional and lacking integrity. This job will hold me over, yes. As long as I don’t lose my shit on them, that is. It’s difficult to keep my mouth shut and not say anything when I see them do shit. It’s annoying.
I’ve decided next week will be different. When I see them do something that is unethical, I will let them know how uncomfortable it makes me. At least this way, maybe they’ll stop doing it in front of me.
Until next time….
posted by Sodapop on Mar 27
- ugh what a long fucking day. Thank God I’m off tomorrow #
- @munkymunch HRG? #
- @munkymunch HRG = horn rimmed glasses = Claire’s dad. #
- @munkymunch I actually still hate him. LOL But I could be one of the few #
- @munkymunch yeah she’s quite the annoyance really #
- @tensesgeek g’nite #
- I’m listening to Jester’s BlogTalk Radio show #
- why is someone in the chat room mentioned their child’s accident today at school? during this show? WTF #
- @kentuckygirl Nope. Unless it’s just basic "one inch, two inch" type stuff, I’m retarded fractionally as well even using a ruler #
- @kentuckygirl me tooooo! #
- morning everyone. @munkymunch ahh serenading me on Twitter! That’s a first for me. I feel all mushy inside #
- @munkymunch awesome! did you finish Heroes? #
- @munkymunch yes .. yes it is! I can’t wait for it either. #
- @geekytai_tai we’ve been talking Heroes for the last week or so and we are currently talking about season 3 and how much we can’t wait! #
- @jestertunes WOW! does that mean I’m a cool kid? #
- @jestertunes I would think talking to you brings my coolness factor UP, not down. #
- @jestertunes sweet dreams #
- @munkymunch are you sure it’s not operator error? #
- oh I’m so glad I’m off today. Ugh. #
- I just noticed that on the new screen door I got for the sliding glass door, the maintenance guy put the thing on backwards #
- The lock is on the outside ROFL need to stop at the office and let them know hahaha #
- @munkymunch no updates. She’s been blissfully quiet the last week #
- SAH WEEEEET Rent on Broadway has been extended until Sept 7th per Perez Hilton!!!! WHEEEE this gives me more time to #
- find the money and get my ass to Broadway #
- @monique_wwwl hope you have a safe trip! gas prices suck ass. #
- @monique_wwwl and @munkymunch It gives me 3 more months to find ways to get there! I’m excited! I gotta see it! #
- @munkymunch I love oranges. They are better for you than the stuff you were eating yesterday, that’s for sure #
- @monique_wwwl we must fix that. when you are here next weekend, we will get drunk and watch the movie #
- @munkymunch I’ve never seen a live production of it I need to fix that….sooon #
- @munkymunch ooooh I love whoppers. LOL #
- welp…after I pay rent on Friday…I will have $22 in savings and $52 in checking. My money has officially run out #
- time to do some more paid posts. For my friends totally against said paid posts, please keep reading me. I’ll be lost w/out you. #
- @munkymunch that’s my fave song by them. definitely #
- I hate scramble boards with only ONE vowel in them. WTF. how am I supposed to make words outta that shit? #
- I am standing in the cleanest and quietest walmart I have ever experienced. Holy shit #
- This 1 doesnt carry the oil filter either. Im stabby now #
- I have found my most favorite WalMart evah!!! it’s clean, HUGE and so quiet, it was almost scary! #
- I just spent $181 on my Nexium prescription. I HAVE to find a job with insurance soon people. Can’t afford that every 30 days #
- is it bad that I do not know the phone number to my apartment office? ROFL #
- I am incredibly irritated. #
- is it odd that I’m more worried about what to wear than the actual polygraph exam? LOL #
- @vincenzof ROFLMAO @laci_loo good cause I’m more worried about what to wear than I am answering those questions LOL #
- printing the directions to the PD headquarters downtown. Going to go find something to eat real quick so I’m not all shaky at the exam LOL #
- @munkymunch I’m going for the Fire Secretary for the FD here in the Ville and it’s a hiring requirement #
- @munkymunch ROFL that would be a more exciting reason on why I needed to take the test tho LOL thank you #
- @munkymunch that’s very true! one never knows unless you ask! #
- I was just talking tot he apt. manager and she said she just wore jeans and a sweater to her plygraph. #
- so that’s what I’m going to do. LOL not like this is a job interview or somthing, right? #
- have iTunes on shuffle. I’ll Cover You from Rent is on. LUFF this song #
- OK, I’m ready to go for the polygraph. I could get there early, but I’d end up sitting there fidgeting LOL #
- Im here and I ended up walking 3blocks in the pouring rain without my umbrellaellaella. #
- Insanely long exam #
- Traffic downtown sucks ass at 5pm. Ugh #
- @monique_wwwl that so sucks!!!!! #
- I had wanted to color my hair before going tot he Easter Pageant at church. But I don’t have time. Gotta leave here in 30 #
- @jlynn I know the feeling! I have 3 loaves in my freezer right now LOL #
- @jestertunes did you tell them to fuck off? I would have. #
- @jestertunes I want the name of his grandmother’s insurance (besides the Medicare) cause I need some insurance. #
- OK, off to church I go for the pageant. Taking tissues. #
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posted by Sodapop on Mar 27
I just got home from Walmart. They do not carry my oil filter for my car. At all. So that means no other Walmart will carry it. This was the 2nd Walmart Tire & Lube I tried. *le sigh* That means I have to go to the dealership and get that horrible case of the “want that so bads” I seem to get when I go there.
I love teak patio furniture. When I have a patio again, I’ll probably get that.
I found a CD I wanted for $8.00. I know, I was just complaining about being broke. Ugh. I need to control my spending! I’m going to try to get the song titles in my writing here. Can you guess what CD I bought? And if I texted you right after purchasing it, you can not guess!
I want a Weekend in New England where do a little Bandstand Boogie until Daybreak. Somewhere In The Night, I will see my friend Mandy. Somewhere Down The Road, I will say that I Made it Through The Rain.
I’m sure I gave it away. And that’s OK, I’m a dork for this guy and I wanted to share my giddyness!
Until next time…