Shutterbuggin’ With Sodapop

posted by Sodapop on Dec 30

OK.  So I’ve been thinking a lot today (like I do all the time) and realized I have a few things that are positive.   Here they are, in bullet format:

• My emergency services only insurance is paid until January 31.
• My rent is paid until January 31
• My power is paid until January 27
• My cable is paid until January 27
• My dogs have food for at least one more week
• I have food for at least one more week (if not more)
• I’m still breathing
• I’m not gambling or being self destructive today
• I have a roof over my head
• I have clothes on my back
• My car payment is paid until January 13
• My car insurance is paid until January 22

I think those are pretty positive.  Don’t you?

Until next time….

posted by Sodapop on Dec 30

This was taken July 19, 2006 from my back patio in the house in Vegas. It’s the one and only time I’ve ever been lucky enough with a camera to catch a lightning strike.

posted by Sodapop on Dec 29

I had a mini melt down this evening while on the phone with my sponsor.  I told her about all of my fears and how horrible I’m feeling emotionally.   She talked to me for awhile, lectured me for a bit and in the end, inspired me to work on getting out of this funk.

Fear = Fuck Everything And Run or it could mean Face Everything And Recover.  It’s really my choice on which one I want to do.  My fear of running out of money (which is not within a week of happening) has frozen me into this depressed state that I can’t seem to punch out of.   It’s like I’m in a brown paper bag, trying to rip at it to get out and I can’t.

Why can’t I?  I won’t LET myself.   My disease tells me it’s better to think negatively and worry about things than to let it go and let my Higher Power handle it.   From one of the suggestions Sheila gave me, I’m going to be writing some stuff and putting it in my God box that my friend Renee made me.

On the 2nd of January, I’m planning on finding some employment temp agencies and walking my resume in to them.   I’ve emailed it to a few of the companies, but have gotten no response.  So it’s time I meet them face to face.

I’m watching the Patriots and Giants game right now.  The Pats are looking to make some serious football history tonight.   I’m secretly hoping the Giants win.  I didn’t say I’m predicting it, I’m just hoping for it.   It’s not that I don’t like the Patriots, cause I do.  I like Tom Brady and think he’s one incredible quarterback.  I’m a Giants fan, so I want them to win.  Period.

I digress.  I’ve been feeling horrible since my interview yesterday.  The interview itself went extremely well.  It’s the timeline of the hiring process that has me feeling so horrid.  The next step is not until the end of January and the step after that is mid-February and the actual hire time would not be until March sometime.   Hence why I’m going to a temp agency, just to get me working.   At least with a little bit of income, my money won’t run out as fast as with no income.  Right?

I’ve been doing a lot of paid posts and that helps a little bit.  Especially for groceries and what not.  I still need to get the girls licensed and taken care of at a vet.  I need to call them this next week too.  I have a vet’s office just across the street from my apartment complex, so it’s not like it’ll be inconvenient or anything.

When I get into these funks, I just don’t want to do anything.  I just don’t give a fuck about anything.   If I wouldn’t end up homeless and sleeping in my car with the girls, I wouldn’t do anything.   I would let myself lay on the couch all day in my PJ’s, watching TV.

This is not me.  I do not do this.  I do not lay down and let shit roll over me the way I have been the last two days.   I’m going to find a way out of this funk.  And I’m going to do it within a few days.   I’m tired of crying.  I’m tired of being depressed.  I’m tired of feeling lonely.   I’m just tired.   I’m tired of beating myself up.   I’m tired of kicking myself while I’m down.   I need to give myself a break and find my way out of this.

Until next time…

posted by Sodapop on Dec 28

Sometimes I wonder how I find myself on certain websites. Yes, every now and then I go there on purpose. But sometimes I find things like a Billet grille completely on accident. I don’t know how I end up navigating there, I just do. LOL And sometimes, the page catches my interest. Seriously. Who couldn’t use a better grill for their car?

I’ve had an emotionally roller-coast like day. I woke up feeling all inspired and happy. Within 3 hours of said wake up, I was blue, depressed and fearful. I had my job interview this morning for Communications Specialist. The interview itself went VERY well and they were very impressed with my background in law enforcement.

So what, you may ask, do I have to be so fearful, depressed and blue about? I’ll tell you. CIVIL SERVICE JOBS TAKE FOREVER to get hired. I tested for this job in September, had my interview today. The next step is the psych (they call it a suitability) test. This test will not take place before the end of January. The step after that is the drug screening and polygraph, which won’t happen until mid-February.

I’m upset because I NEED A JOB and my money will run out by the time these people hire me. Sometimes, civil service sucks. But once you get hired, it takes an act of God to get rid of ya so it CAN be worth it in the long run. I guess I’ll find out.

In response to how I’m feeling today, I went grocery shopping and took myself to Target to spend the gift card my mom got me for Christmas. After that, I sent my resume to four different companies I found on CareerBuilderdotcom. We’ll see what happens. I’m continuing to put myself out there, throwing my resume out there and watching for job fairs and what not.

I’m just feeling down and the weather hasn’t helped. It’s been cold and rainy alllll day long. It’s supposed to get colder over the weekend and into the New Year. YAY!

Until next time…

posted by Sodapop on Dec 26

We made it home.  Chloe got sick twice in the car and was drooling most of the time!  *le sigh*  I was hoping she was over the car sickness thing.  Obviously, not.

I’m doing laundry, chatting with a friend in IM and relaxing.

Until next time…

posted by Sodapop on Dec 24

Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates this holiday.  I hope you get lots of time with your friends and family.   Spending time with loved ones is my favorite part of this holiday season.

Mom and I watched The Kingdom today.  Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman and Chris Cooper star.  It was a VERY good movie.  It was well made, well acted and I can see why it did not do well in theaters.  Although I found it entertaining, heart wrenching and very “edge of your seat” action sequences, I believe people will find it too disturbing.  It seems very real and I think that will turn people off from it.

We are taking a short computer break before watching the extended version of The Bourne Identity.

I hope ya’ll are having a fantastic day.  Merry Christmas!

Until next time….

posted by Sodapop on Dec 22

Chloe is very photogenic. She’s been sleeping on the blanket that is on top of the couch for a bit now. She provided me with the posted series of pictures.

She saw me move for my camera and started looking at me.

Then she started to lay back down and go back to sleep

Sweet dreams pretty girl.

posted by Sodapop on Dec 21

I took mom into Atlanta with me today so that I could visit the The King Center. The King Center is actually the Martin Luther King, Jr Center for Non-Violence. I have the full name in my picture folder that I just downloaded. I’ll be posting some of them later. Since I was a little girl, I have always been fascinated with Dr. King and his history. I just love it there.

My laptop has been freezing up every few minutes here. It’s annoying because I HAVE NO IDEA why it does this! I wish it could be something as simple as needing a popup blocker, ya know? LOL

Here I am in front of Dr. and Mrs. King’s final resting places upon the Reflection Pond at the Center.

I’ll be posting some more pictures on my Flickr badge and The Soda Stand.

posted by Sodapop on Dec 21

The girls and I made it to mom’s yesterday around 6pm.  It was a long, stressful journey because it started raining in Nashville and did not let up the rest of the trip.

Sometimes it was raining so hard, I could not see further than a few feet in front of my own hood.  I would go a little slower than most at those times.   It was frightening at times, especially when a semi tried to change lanes with me right next to him.   My life did not flash before my eyes, but I sure had to pee right after that!

Mom made me breakfast this morning and we are slowly getting ready to go grocery shopping, visit the family and then go into the big city and visit The King Center.

I’m a huge follower of Martin Luther King, Jr and I try to visit the Center at least once when I’m in the area.   Mom says she doesn’t mind going, as long as she doesn’t have to drive.  haha.  That’s a good thing cause I don’t mind the driving.

It’s supposed to be cloudy and dreary around here all day long, which is a bummer.  I’ll survive it though I guess.  Not much different than the Ville, really.

Until next time…

posted by Sodapop on Dec 19

One of the beautiful houses I saw on my excursion today.

Two more purdy houses along the way

Part of one of the horse farms out there

Yet another part of yet another horse farm.

I drove about 15 miles into Oldham County and found lots of beautiful things to look at. I loved the drive and it was relaxing too. Although I took the excursion by accident, I’m glad I did cause it showed me more beauty that Kentucky has to offer me.